


Why Don't I Steal Your Frozen Heart

by Gabbythedevil, WhyAmIAFangirl



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bonnie and Clyde Fusion, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Marvel Universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-08-23 21:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20236522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabbythedevil/pseuds/Gabbythedevil, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAmIAFangirl/pseuds/WhyAmIAFangirl
Summary: Your favorite (and only) Jotun trickster is up to no good yet again. Exiled yet again for setting Thor on fire (using Surtur’s sword), and stripped of half his powers, Loki is stranded on Earth.Elyse is a broke, sarcastic, ambitious college student at Georgetown University. She has the (mis?)fortune to meet her new Criminology professor, and next thing Elyse knows, she’s looking into Loki Laufeyson’s green eyes as they race away from their very first crime scene.





	1. Roy Thornton and Surtur's Sword

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is our first fanfic so please give some criticism to help us improve our writing and thank you for even looking at this story. Enjoy!

Chapter One: Roy Thornton and Surtur’s Sword

There is an icy breath that escapes my lips  
And I am lost again  
A certain type of darkness is stalling me  
Under a quite mask of uncertainty  
I wait for light like water from the sky  
And I am lost again

-Christina Perri, Sea of Lovers

I really haven’t kept a diary since I was a kid. I can’t be bothered with all that ‘dear diary’ shit. So. Day 3 Without Roy.

  
I should’ve known better than to believe him when he said he’d wait for me. He left me a promise ring. I haven’t taken it off, I just keep twisting it and twisting it around my finger until it bites deep into my skin.

He said we’d get married after he got his commission. After he graduated from West Point and became an Army officer. I value logic. Facts. Guarantees. So, really, it’s my fault for believing his lies.

He got a commission. In South Carolina, somewhere. But the last I heard of Roy was that a specialist in his battalion was suing him for sexual harassment.

His family was rich. Prestigious. The men in his family have been decorated war heroes for generations. Maybe the heroism skips a generation. I really thought he loved me, and

I feel stupid writing these words girls have written across the world for centuries.

He used to send me money. I got an academic scholarship to Georgetown, and it’s only junior year, but my professors think I’m on track to be valedictorian. But my family never had that much-not the type of money the other kids here have. Roy sent me money every week. He said that it was normal, since we’d be married pretty soon. He told me he’d take care of me. I don’t need a man to take care of me. One day, I’m going to be an Assistant U,S, Attorney, and I’ll make more money than he ever will. So right now, I numb my feelings by pretending it’s the money I miss and not him.

Aren’t I pathetic? I hope Roy Thornton finds happiness, but it won’t be with me. I have to find a job near campus, probably as a waitress or something. Anything to take my mind off this.

-Elyse

“What have you to say for yourself, Loki?”, Odin growled.

  
“It is as you say, Allfather,'' Loki said with an infuriating smirk, “I shouldn’t have touched the sword”.

Tyr bit back a grin as Frigga looked disapprovingly at Loki. He had just set fire to Thor using Surtur’s sword, sending his brother up in a raging flame.. Thor lay in a cot nearby, awake enough to see what would happen to Loki but in enough pain to not move or speak for his brother.

The Asgardians were assembled in a half-circle around Odin’s great throne. Waves of rage radiated off the Allfather as he glowered at his unapologetic adopted son. Loki tucked his black hair behind his ear, frowned vainly at his reflection in Odin’s shield, and untucked it.

A tear ran down Sif’s cheek as she looked at Thor, in pain that she couldn’t heal. Loki felt vague contempt for her, as usual. Poor thing, she could be so much more if she didn’t insist on following his brother around like a groupie.

“That was the sword that killed my brothers”, Odin said pensively, “And you have used it on your brother. Loki Laufeyson, you have gone too far.”

“It’s not permanent,'' Loki said languidly, “Why does everyone look so tragic? You’ll get your heroic Thor back in no time. It’s not like I killed that big oaf.”

“But you could have! ” Odin snarled, “Now you leave Asgard vulnerable to attacks and spit in the face of all your brother has done to keep us safe”.

“Heimdall could see the danger before it comes. And Thor will be just fine. He’ll heal soon enough and protect poor little Asgard from attacks.”

Frigga sighed and looked at Loki sadly. He knew what she was thinking. The blood will show itself. The Jotun blood. That’s what they all thought.

“You will leave Asgard, Loki”, Odin said, his mouth curving downward in a defeated frown.

“I hope it’s at least going to be a paid vacation, Father,'' Loki said sarcastically, “This is the twenty-first century. Worker’s rights!”

“Work?”, Odin yelled, “You don’t work for anything, you worthless son. You seek only to depose and destroy. Now you will get out of my realm and not come back until I allow you to”.

“You’re breaking my heart”, Loki deadpanned. “Fine! I’ll leave to Midgard and I’ll see you never, Father.”

Loki gazed around the circle of the Asgardians, winking insolently at Sif. An odd look crossed his face as he looked at his brother’s cot. Thor’s entire face was scarred and purple, his nose looking as if it would melt. His injuries would disappear within a day or so, but Loki felt an unfamiliar wave of guilt as he gazed at the strand of his brother’s blond hair partially obscuring one of his bandages. He had gone too far, indeed.

“Come, Laufeyson”, Heimdall rumbled, “You must cross Bifrost now”.

Loki sauntered jauntily towards the glistening rainbow bridge that materialized, working hard to act unconcerned. Odin watched his son as he walked away, a sneer curling his lip.

“Wait. Frigga, my dear, could you bind his powers so he doesn’t wreak havoc among Midgard? After all, this is supposed to be a punishment, not a ‘paid vacation’ like he wanted.”

“Wreak havoc? You wound me, Allfather.” Loki said flippantly as he tried to contain his nervousness, “After all, I’ll only make a little mischief.”

Frigga took a deep breath. She had been raised amongst witches, she could see the future branching off into two distinct paths. Her spiritual senses were strong, and she knew that if she bound Loki’s powers, all Asgard would live to regret. He would suffer on Midgard, and he would come back and make them all suffer for what they had done to him. Besides, what Odin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. He had forced her to raise his natural son, Thor, and his adopted son, Loki, alongside her own children. Thor, who was legendary and who had attained far more than Odin’s rightful heirs. She always felt nastily satisfied when Loki pulled something like this.

So she extended her palms and blasted Loki with a forest-green light. He writhed-not from pain, but from the shocks and electricity pulsing through his system. When the onslaught was over, he panted, hands on his knees.

“Begone from my sight, Loki”, Odin said wearily. Loki dipped his head in acquiescence, but he caught Frigga’s eye. He was an Asgardian, and he knew when his powers were dormant-and when they were not-so he turned and left, gratefully.


	2. Criminology and the Enchantress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Georgetown U is abuzz with news of a mysterious new teacher, and Loki has to learn to function on Midgard with the help of an old friend.

Chapter Two: Criminology and the Enchantress

Every legal-minded student on Georgetown’s campus was talking about it. The law professors were talking about it. The professors for the undergrad classes Comparative Political Systems and Constitutional Law were talking about it. But Elyse got to hear it firsthand from her loudmouthed roommate… at 6 in the morning.

“Lawrence Bhongam is coming here! To teach Criminology!”, Amalia squealed, shaking her awake.

Lawrence Bhongam was as close to a rockstar as you could get in the legal community. His parents had emigrated from Thailand when they were young, went to law school at Michigan State, and quickly rose to the top-together-of a famous Wall Street law firm. He had graduated from Harvard Law School at the tender age of 21, and had predictably joined his parents’ law firm. At 23, he got into a fight with a junior partner over a ‘woman of the night’, quit the firm, and became a federal public defender. He was rich, handsome, entitled, arrogant, veryyy promiscuous, and lost sleep over murderers and burglars. What wasn’t to love? He spent six years fighting tooth and nail for terrorists and assassins, before he was tempted into politics (mostly because of the hookers on Capitol Hill),and became a lobbyist. Everyone expected him to make senator next, and every law journal wrote about his exploits like they were tabloids and pop magazines.

“The last thing I need right now is that pervert teaching my favorite class”, Elyse grumbled, pulling a pillow over her face.

“We don’t have such fascinating men in Germany”, Amalia sighed, fanning herself, “I really like America. Maybe I should take Criminology too.”

“Mali, you’re a theater major”, Elyse scoffed, “I guarantee you would hate it. It gets pretty dark and gruesome.”

“But I wouldn’t be listening”, Amalia giggled, “I’d be watching Professor Bhongam”.

“You’d flunk. Your GPA would go down.”

“All the more reason for me to get some extra tutoring with him, if you get what I mean”.

Elyse ignored her roommate as she pulled on a purple hoodie and wrestled her black curly hair into a messy bun. She fiddled with Roy Thornton’s ring. She really couldn’t bring herself to take it off.

“I guess I should thank you for waking me up so early.” she told Amalia grudgingly, “I’m working the breakfast shift at Clyde’s Diner”.

“What’s your first class though?,” Mali asked worriedly. Elyse grinned wickedly.

“Criminology,” she said.

“Very appropriate”, Mali called after her, “Oh, and remember, tonight’s the Halloween party so dress up!”

~

“Ah, Midgard.” Loki said distastefully as he looked around. He had just landed in President’s Park at 3 a.m. in the morning and no one was around. He could just barely see the Lincoln Memorial in the distance, glittering in the soft streetlight reflecting onto its white marble.

“Why don’t you come home with me, darlin’?”

Loki pricked up his ears. A human man staggered drunkenly towards him, holding the arm of a scantily clad woman. She giggled and whispered something in his ear. Loki rolled his eyes at the messy passion humans seemed to have for each other. It was probably because their lives were so short. His own wife, Sigyn, was visiting her sister in the Vanaheim realm, she probably hadn’t even heard of his banishment.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Loki’s diabolical mind started forming a plan. He was still in his usual garb-black breastplate, green and gold cape, black jeans, and black leather boots. At least he wasn’t wearing his golden horns. It was all sure to draw attention to him from the mortals.

“Laurie”, the woman cooed loudly, “My place is closer”.

Loki smirked. He quickly and nimbly fashioned his cape into a makeshift hoodie, pulling it over his head, and he fell in step behind the couple. The man was scarily drunk, barely able to walk a few steps without falling over. The woman seemed familiar, somehow. She had long blonde hair, and wore a skintight lime-green cocktail dress. Loki watched in confusion as the man mechanically stood up, reached into his jacket, and handed over his wallet.

“Amora the Enchantress”, Loki whispered incredulously. It was his, well, for lack of a better phrase, best frenemy fuck buddy. Amora was an Asgardian orphan who had been raised by the dread sorceress Queen Karnilla, ruler of Nornheim. When Amora grew too powerful, Karnilla banished her from Nornheim. Amora and her friend the Jotun Skurge, the Executioner, moved to Asgard and caused havoc in Thor’s life. They even delighted in helping Loki with his own schemes. So what was Amora doing on Midgard, pickpocketing some mortal through mind control?

Amora glanced around the dark street and caught Loki’s eye. She whispered something to the poor man, and sauntered towards Loki.

“Darling,” she purred, running a hand up his chest, “What brings you to Midgard?”

“Business”, he said curtly, removing her hand.

“I see that spark of revenge in your eye, love”, Amora giggled, “You’re going to do something to piss off the Allfather, aren’t you?”

“Him and my brother”, Loki spat. The guilt he had felt earlier had disappeared, replaced with an unreasonable anger towards Thor. Sure, he had shot fire at him...but the big dummy was capable of putting up a shield! If he hadn’t gotten so badly injured, Loki wouldn’t be on Midgard, half powerless and without any money.

“I’d be happy to help you,” Amora said, winking.

“Aren’t you too busy stealing wallets from rich politicians?” Loki scoffed.

“He’s not really a politician, he’s a lobbyist”, she said, “And he’s going to teach Criminology at Georgetown University”.

“What’s his name?”

“Lawrence Bhongam. I should’ve just killed him and robbed his house, but he’s too cute. A real ladies’ man.”

“Georgetown University”, Loki repeated, “Forget about getting laid tonight Amora, I’ve got a plan.”

She pouted but let Loki approach, knowing exactly what he was about to do. He walked up to Lawrence, who was now lying on the sidewalk, asleep. It turns out while they were talking, Lawrence had decided to take a nap which made it easier for what he was going to do next. He placed a palm on his chest and a golden light swirled around the two men. When it cleared, a nearly identical Lawrence Bhongam had appeared where Loki once was, only with greener eyes and a smirk on his face. Loki shakily got to his feet, and stripped. Amora watched closely (one might say too closely) as he got dressed in Lawrence’s clothes.

“You’re just going to leave him in his underwear?” she laughed.

“I’m pretty sure this guy is used to waking up on sidewalks half-naked.” Loki said, “Now, Amora, what can you teach me about criminology in about say 4 hours?”

~

Elyse was exhausted after her shift at the diner. She had spent five hours scribbling orders on a tiny notepad, getting yelled at by the short-tempered short-order cook, and trying not to get sick from the gross-smelling french fries.

“WAKE UP!”, Amalia screeched, jumping onto her bed, “HURRY UP, GET OUT OF BED, AND WEAR SOMETHING HOT! I’M NOT LETTING YOU OUT OF THIS DORM ROOM UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, UNDERSTOOD?”

“Whyyy?”, Elyse groaned.

“If I can’t take Criminology, then I’ll just live through you,'' Mali said reasonably, “Now hurry, honey. There are ramen noodles to eat and teachers to seduce”.

“I’m not trying to seduce anyone”, Elyse said, glancing down at the circle of silver on her right ring finger.

“Roy Thornton is somewhere in South Carolina, harassing the female soldiers in his battalion, and you’re sitting here pining after him?”, Amalia asked, horrified, “Take that stupid ring off and get dressed”.

Elyse got dressed in the short red dress Mali handed her, grabbed her backpack, and hurried out into the hallway. She dug a packet of Tylenol from her wallet and choked it down with some lukewarm water. A migraine throbbed in her head, and tears stung her throat. Her new job paid well below the legal minimum wage, but she was too exhausted to even call them out about it. Textbooks were expensive-some cost more than 500 dollars-and food wasn’t exactly cheap, so she lived off of ramen noodles and Amalia’s supplies of energy bars. She had practically no friends besides her exuberant roommate. Her entire first two years of college had been built around Roy and classes. Now all she had was classes.

“Welcome, class”, Professor Bhongam said just as Elyse as she slowly closed the door as quietly as she could, “I doubt I need to introduce myself but for politeness’s sake, my name is Lawrence Bhongam. ”

Almost all girls and even some of the boys in the class swooned like he was some fairytale prince. I mean, it was the arrogant bad boy of the legal biz, in the flesh.

“You’re late”, Lawrence/Loki snapped, hearing the door close. He glanced up from the papers he was shuffling and hesitated, focusing on a girl. That girl was simply lovely. Not in a flashy way like Amora, or Sif, or even Sigyn. Her loveliness was more apparent the longer you looked at her, in the curve of her lips, the sad droop of her eyelashes, the way her ridiculously red dress accentuated her waist. It was mortal beauty. Human beauty. And that was the best of all.

“I’m sorry, Professor, but class didn’t even start yet,'' she said, tilting her head and it seems as if she was flashing a challenge at him with those black eyes.

“You should’ve been early”, Lawrence/Loki said sternly.

“And were you always early to class in college, Professor?” she queried.

The entire class gasped loudly. Loki raised an eyebrow. He didn’t know who she was, but after that interaction, he wanted to. And not just because he desired her, but because she had a sly wit dancing behind her worried expression.

“There’s no evidence to suggest that I wasn’t perfectly punctual to my classes, Miss-?”

“Tempesta”, Elyse said, raising her chin, “Elyse Tempesta.”

Elyse was starting to understand the mass appeal Lawrence Bhongam exuded. He wore a cream-colored linen button-up shirt, unbuttoned far more than appropriate. She could see every pectoral muscle, and the large, steady muscles of his forearms and shoulders. And his eyes? In the pictures Amalia had shown her, his eyes hadn’t looked quite so… green. Or feral. There was something different about him she couldn’t put her finger on. His hair was longer. His cheekbones were more defined, and he had stubble gracing his jawline.

“Well, Miss Tempesta,'' Loki said after a minute, “We’re not talking about what I did or didn’t do in college. We’re talking about your tardiness. Will it be a consistent problem?”

“I don’t know, will it?,” she asked with a devilish smirk.

Loki glared at her and turned to the blackboard. He wasn’t impersonating a professor for the hell of it, he had an actual game plan. Some cute, sarcastic college girl wasn’t going to be his downfall.

“Criminology is the study of crime, criminal behavior patterns and the law,'' he said, “In this class, you’ll learn about the social and psychological aspects of crime, the history of crime and the justice system, and even a little forensic science”.

“Professor Bhongam, can you tell us about your most famous case?,”a girl near the front piped up, waving her hand in the air.

“Which one? All my cases are my most famous,”Loki said with an arrogant wink. For Yggdrasil’s sake, he really should’ve researched the guy beforehand.

“The State of New York versus Matteo Russo”, Elyse said, a bit shyly, “The one where you were defending that mafia hitman. You-you started to do a striptease in court and the judge threw out the charges”.

“Not much to say about that case,'' Loki said, leaning back against the blackboard, “But, uh, there is a lot to see.”

Elyse blushed furiously, unable to look away from him. Whenever a book or movie described a man as magnetic, she always thought that was a bit ridiculous. But now? Now she understood the feeling completely.

“Today, class, we’re going to learn a little bit about two of America’s most notorious criminals,'' Loki said, “Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow”.

While Loki had failed to learn anything about Lawrence Bhongam, he had thoroughly read papers and articles about Bonnie and Clyde, even when he was in Asgard. The concept had always fascinated him… a pair of lovers teaming up against the world, to rob, kill, and scheme. He had always dreamt, somehow, of robbing a bank. It would be a simple thing for him, even with his reduced powers. So many humans got caught trying to rob banks, but it would be child’s play for him. Now he had Amora, his Bonnie, and a classroom full of rich, trusting students with fat bank accounts.

~

After Criminology class, Elyse got up to leave. Professor Bhongham had told the class to write a 25,000 word essay about the most interesting aspects of Bonnie and Clyde’s criminal career. That meant another sleepless night, but Elyse was more than willing to do it. For her GPA, of course, not for Lawrence Bhongam. She didn’t care that much about him.

“Natasha just texted me,'' Amalia squealed, practically jumping on Elyse as she left class, “She said you and Bhongam had major UST”.

“Amalia, what the heck is UST?”, Elyse asked wearily.

“Unresolved Sexual Tension, of course”, Amalia giggled, “Come on, let’s stay and watch him”.

“Now you’re turning into a creepy stalker”, Elyse sighed, “Very yandere. But if it makes you happy, then by all means look through the door at him”.

The two girls peeked through the half-open door and froze. A woman was sitting on the desk next to Lawrence. She had blonde hair that reached her knees, and she was wearing a scarily tight lime-green dress.

“Damn”, Mali whispered, shaking his head, “I can’t believe he had a prostitute come here! When there’s a campus full of guys and girls who’d be more than willing to-”

“Mali, shut up!”, Elyse hissed, “Something’s happening to his face!”

Loki was partially facing the door as his features seemed to bubble. The woman rolled her eyes and held her palm in front of his face. A gold light hid Loki for a moment, and when it cleared, he no longer resembled Lawrence Bhongam in the least.

“What the actual fuck”, Elyse breathed. Something very strange was happening. But she didn’t have time to dwell on that, because Mali had just fainted-right into the classroom.

The blonde woman shrieked and jumped to her feet. She ran to Amalia and reach out at Mali, as if she was going to touch her.

“Stop! Don’t touch her!”, Elyse screamed. She kicked in the door so it hit the woman in the face.

“You little witch!” the woman yelled, “Loki, help me!”

Elyse stared in confusion at the man who had claimed to be Lawrence Bhongam. She had seen his true features show through, even in Bhongam’s form, and now they were far more pronounced. Somehow, he was even more attractive. He was vibrantly rugged and gloriously alive.

“Wipe the incident from that one’s mind, and leave us,'' Loki said, nodding towards Mali.

“Leave you? But what about this one-”

“Leave us, Amora. Now.”

Shooting Elyse a poisonous glare, the woman hauled Amalia from the room.

“Tell me who you are right now, or I’m calling the police”, Elyse said, backing away from him, “I have no idea what the fuck is happening, but if that woman hurts my friend I’ll kill you”.

“Such loyalty is admirable,'' Loki said pensively. He looked Elyse up and down.

“You’re not Lawrence Bhongam”, Elyse snapped, “But you looked like him during class, and now you don’t. What did you do to him?”

“Nothing”, Loki said, quite truthfully, “So, what’s the only logical explanation for all this, Miss Tempesta?”

“You-you wore some weird kind of mask that looked like his face-”

“I forget that Asgard logic and Midgard logic are often two different things,'' Loki said wryly. Her eyes widened as she processed what he had said,

“You do look somewhat familiar,'' she conceded slowly, “You’re a-a-a LARP’er”.

“LARP?”, Loki asked, tilting his head.

“L-live Action Role Playing. You’re a weirdo with a crush on Bhongam, and you live in your m-mother’s basement and you got plastic surgery so you can look like-like-like-”

“Like?”

“Like Loki, the God of Mischief”.

“Mischief and Trickery”, he corrected, mildly amused, “Miss Tempesta, do you think I’m the kind of person who lives in my mother’s basement?”

“Not really,'' she said, trembling, “But there’s no other explanation”.

“Isn’t there?,” he asked very quietly.

“No, superheroes-they-they don’t really exist, right? They’re just government hoaxes made to boost morale,” she babbled.

“I didn’t realize you were a conspiracy theorist, Miss Tempesta”, Loki drawled. He flicked his fingers and a silver light shot from his fingers, wrapped itself around Elyse’s forearm, and tugged her towards him.

“This can’t be happening,” Elyse said, “But you’re evil”.

She clapped a hand over her mouth and gave him an apologetic look. He smirked devilishly, but inside he felt vaguely hurt. Not that he wasn’t used to accusations of villainy.

“I’m very evil,'' he said casually, perching on his desk, “So evil, I’m about to ask you to rob a bank with me and ruin your life”.

“Okaaayy”, Elyse said, her head surprisingly clear, “When and where?”


	3. Starbucks and Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People drink caffeine. Plans are made.

It was Halloween night, Elyse thought dazedly, and that’s when the spirits walk the earth. This guy was just a crazy superhero fan, or an actual malevolent spirit just toying with her emotions (and hormones).

  
But she knew that wasn’t the truth.

  
Loki had given her his phone number (he had a cellphone!), and texted her to meet him at the Starbucks outside campus. Amalia had shown up in English Lit, unscathed and as perky as ever. So Elyse dragged herself through English Lit, Intro to Forensic Chem, and Math 2, occasionally checking her phone to make sure that the text hadn’t magically disappeared somehow.

  
“You look shell-shocked, honey,'' Mali said when Elyse went back to their room to change, “Maybe you need to get a drink or something.”

  
“Uh, yeah, well I’m going to Starbucks so I’ll just get something to drink there,” Elyse mumbled, pulling a Georgetown hoodie over her head.

  
“Are you okay, Elyse?”, Mali asked worriedly, “You don’t look so good”.

  
“I’m fine”, Elyse murmured with an effusive smile, “Don’t wait up, I have to go straight to the diner for the night shift”.

  
Elyse quickly hurried to the Starbucks. It was nearly empty, with a few sullen employees cleaning coffee pots behind the bar and four giggling high-school girls dressed as stripper witches sitting in the back. And, of course, Loki, who had claimed a seat by the front window.

  
“I ordered a small chai tea with soy milk for you,” he said genially. He was wearing a dark-green polo shirt and khakis, and in those clothes he looked like any other Georgetown boy around D.C.

  
“That’s my favorite”, she said suspiciously, “How’d you know?”

  
“Just an educated guess”, he said, grinning.

  
“So you had that woman read my mind, didn’t you?”

  
“On the advice of legal counsel, I invoke my Fifth Amendment privilege against self-incrimination and respectfully decline to answer your question”.

  
“That’s so invasive and disrespectful”, Elyse said, hugging herself as she scowled at him, “I guess you know everything about me by now.”

  
“I really didn’t have Amora read your mind”, Loki admitted bashfully, “I just looked on your Instagram. If we’re going to do what we’re going to do, I have to start doing things the Midgardian way.”

“Oh,” Elyse said, “Well. I’m not drinking this, you probably roofied it”.

  
“Miss Tempesta,'' Loki said, quirking an eyebrow at her, “I would never do that to a woman. Nor do I need to. I have a wide assortment of women, from New York to Nornheim, just desperate to leap into bed with me”.

  
“I didn’t come here to listen to you describe your sex life”, Elyse snapped, “I came here so you can tell me how we’re going to get some fast cash”.  
Loki peered at her, slowly stirring his matcha latte.

  
“I’m confused, Miss Tempesta,” he drawled, “You go to Georgetown University. You’re an intelligent girl. You came to class in a Ralph Lauren dress. Why do you need fast cash so badly? Do you have a drug habit, or a secret child, perhaps?”

  
“If only it were that simple. I’m here on a scholarship. The dress was my roommate’s and I’m currently working the graveyard shift at a skeezy diner near here.” She laughed, but it sounded more like a sigh.

  
“Okay”, he said seriously, “Let’s start talking logistics, then”.

  
Elyse gave him a timid smile. She hated when people offered her their sympathy.

  
“I don’t plan on being poor forever, nor do I plan on making a living off robbing banks,'' she said frankly, “I’m going to law school after I graduate”.  
“You’ll work for some fancy corporate law factory, I suppose?”

  
“No, I want to work for the U.S. Attorney. Prosecuting the very people we’re about to become, I guess”.

  
“You’re taking this surprisingly well”.

  
“Don’t be fooled, I have a million bruises under my hoodie from all the times I’ve pinched myself”.

  
Loki leaned across the table, and his emerald eyes became a galaxy to her. He was within kissing distance and she pulled away awkwardly.

  
“I’m serious,'' he said intently, “You haven’t screamed at, laughed at, or run from me. Why?”

  
“I don’t know,'' she said, sipping her chai tea, “Probably because I want this all to be true. I want it so badly.”

  
Loki watched her carefully before he asked, “Who’s Roy Thornton?”

  
She stiffened, fiddling with a plain silver ring he hadn’t noticed on her hand before. His throat closed up oddly and he took a large gulp of his matcha tea before saying,  
“I didn’t know you were married. You’re young for that, by Midgardian standards, right?”

  
“I’m not married,'' she said forcefully, “And if I ever do get married, it won’t be to Roy Thornton.”

  
“You’re still wearing his ring”.

  
“So my roommate reminds me, every day”.

  
“I saw the pictures of you two on your Instagram. You guys go back pretty far”.

  
“We met when we were 15. He went to West Point, and told me we’d get married when he got stationed. But I haven’t spoken to him in weeks. He’s being sued for rape and sexual harassment by some female soldiers he works with”.

  
Loki didn’t really know what to say. The heartbreak on her face was evident. He could never imagine feeling that way because of some infidelity. He and Sigyn shared a dispassionate marriage of convenience, and neither ever expected the other home at night. The gods were around for far too long for promises of undying faith.  
But humans were another story.

  
“I’ve always been inspired by the story of those mortal criminals, Bonnie and Clyde,'' he said abruptly, “And their gang. The Barrow Gang.”

  
“Which is why you had us study that in class”, Elyse smirked.

  
“You’re excused from your homework, by the way,'' he said seriously.

  
“So what’s going to happen when the real Lawrence Bhongam comes to class tomorrow and apologizes for not being here?”, Elyse asked archly.

  
“I don't know, and neither will you,'' Loki said, “We’re leaving town tonight”.

She gawked at him.

“Leaving town? Tonight? Just the two of us?” she queried breathlessly.

“While I can totally pictured us snuggled in some motel bed together, no,'' Loki said obnoxiously, “The rest of our gang is here, so we leave with them”.

“The Barrow Gang”, Elyse said sarcastically.

“Nope. The Laufeyson Gang,” Loki said, his eyes gleaming.

“Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it”, Elyse noted wickedly.

~

Loki and Elyse left Starbucks and started walking towards Montrose Park. He refused to tell her who the rest of the ‘gang’ was, but she already figured it included the unkind blonde woman who had altered Mali’s memory.

  
“Having second thoughts?”, Loki asked as they strolled along, noting her silence.

“No, just trying to process everything”, Elyse said, “How will I be able to return after our ‘adventure’ is over? I’ll be a wanted criminal”.

“We’ll keep you out of this as much as possible”, Loki promised, “Just as long as you give us legal advice and defend us in court if it comes to that.”

“I can handle that, I’ve led Georgetown’s mock trial team to victory for three years”, Elyse said proudly, “But Loki, I can’t just disappear from my life like that”.

“Worried about your GPA?” he asked snidely.

“No, actually. I’m worried about everyone I care about. My friends, my family, who’ll think I’m probably dead in a ditch somewhere,” she snapped.

“Just tell them we kidnapped you. We’ll even send ransom notes.”

“It won’t be that easy.” She huffed in frustration.

“Come on, live a little,'' he said, giving her the side-eye.

It was past midnight, and Elyse barely remembered her ill-fated waitressing job. It was a cool fall night in D.C, and starlight seemed to glitter off of every surface. Everyone called Paris The City of Lights, but surely there had never been such a luminous city as Washington, D.C. The Lincoln Memorial, the National Mall, the reflecting pool, and even the White House joined together from miles away, it seemed, to create the lighting of a fairy-tale.

Elyse always joked with Amalia that she could smell the power in D.C. The ambition. She wanted to be part of that. She always had. If Loki of Asgard appeared out of nowhere and proposed a daring plan, she was certainly going to take him up on it. Being a lawyer was all about taking risks. She could make this work. She’d have to. Missing a month of classes, losing her dead-end job, even making her family and her friends worried-well, it would all be worth it in the end.

As Loki walked next to her, he wasn’t thinking of such momentous, future-defining things. Nothing defined his future besides his whim. The only thing for certain was Ragnarok, and even that seemed less and less certain. Or maybe he had just let go of his cynicism for a little while, let go of his doom-and-gloom, because of the mortal girl he strolled beside. D.C. starlight was something special, he thought. There was nothing quite like it, even on Asgard. The way it glittered along her copper skin and illuminated her curls was the most magical thing he had seen in his life.

“If we’re going to work together, Loki, you should really tell me who else is in this gang”, Elyse said eventually.

“Tyr”, Loki muttered, “I contacted him while I was waiting for you”.

“Your brother?”, she asked, intrigued, “The God of War? The one who got his hand bitten off by that wolf?”

“I didn’t realize you were such a fan”, Loki smirked, “And I’ll have you know that wolf is my son, Fenris”.

“Your… son”, Elyse repeated, “I don’t know how the reporters missed that in their ‘Guide to the ‘Gardians’”.

“That’s a thing?”, Loki asked skeptically.

“Yup. Humans are fascinated with you guys. The Asgardians, the Avengers, and everything in between”.

“What about you?”, Loki asked, turning suddenly to face her, “Are you… fascinated?”

Elyse froze. He was so close to her. Too close. He smelled like sun-warmed leather and the deepest part of an uncharted pine forest. He smelled like hidden corridors and sweet thyme leaves. He smelled like everything she wanted but couldn’t have.

“Not so much fascinated as frustrated,'' she said. “Anyway, where are we going?”

“Montrose Park”, Loki said, glancing at his phone, “The rest of my people will be there”.

“Jesus Christ,” Elyse muttered, the reality of the situation hitting her, “What am I doing?”

“Having fun and making money,”Loki said glibly, “Ah, here we are.”

Elyse put her hands in her hoodie and pockets and lingered awkwardly near the entrance of the park, ready to bolt. Superheroes were still a new phenomenon, and they spawned TV shows, merchandise, and tabloid covers aplenty. But with them also came supervillains, and she wasn’t quite sure which one Loki was-hero or villain.

“Brother!,”a man roared, materializing from the dark, “There you are!”

“Elyse, this is my brother Tyr”, Loki said calmly as the giant man clapped him roughly on the back.

“I-I’m Elyse Tempesta”, she said, a little shaken. From what she knew of the Asgardians, Tyr was Odin’s son by a Jotun woman, also raised on Asgard by Frigg. He was the god of war and justice.

“Good to know you, Elyse Tempesta”, Tyr said with a roguish wink. Elyse knew he and Loki weren’t related by blood, but there was a raw similarity to them. Tyr looked like a larger, more roughly-hewn version of Loki, with the same long, ink-black hair. If Loki was the dagger sliding between your ribs, the poison dropped into your cup, Tyr was the broadsword that took off your head.

“Skurge here yet?”, Loki asked.

Elyse stifled a shriek as another heavily muscled, vaguely menacing man appeared in front of her. He had a grotesque iron battle-axe strapped across his bare back, a bald head covered in intricate tattoos, and an impressive mustache.

“Elyse, this is Skurge the Executioner,”Loki said, stifling a yawn, “We’re probably kin”.

“Probably?,”she squeaked.

“I, too, am Jotun,”Skurge grunted. Elyse nodded, not sure what else to do.

“Lokity-Loki Laufeyson!”

Everyone collectively winced as the blonde woman strutted towards them, flicking her hair with every step.

“Amora,”Loki said, his expression curiously neutral. Skurge turned bright red and dropped his axe on Tyr’s foot, who in turn roundhouse-kicked the Executioner in his immortal jaw.

“You smell like a mortal,”Amora said, giving Elyse an unimpressed glare.

“I’ll play nice and take that as a compliment”, Elyse said coldly. Amora stiffened. Loki hid a smile. It was obvious the women wouldn’t exactly be best friends.

“So when is our first heist?,”Elyse asked.

“‘Heist’”, Amora mocked, “Damn, you’re already talking like a bona fide bank robber, child”.

“The Capital One bank near campus,”Loki said hastily, “Security is thin this time of night”.

“Wait, we’re doing this tonight?”,Elyse asked, horrified.

“No time like the present,”Tyr said, flexing his biceps, “Loki, the guns are in my car”.

“D-don’t you have magical powers?”, Elyse queried shakily.

“Magical powers!,”Tyr roared with glee, “Didya hear that, fellas? She thinks we got magical powers!”

Elyse stood there with a bemused smile on her face. The entire day had felt vaguely surreal and she had the odd urge to scream or cry (or run away as fast as she could).

“Loki got in trouble with the Allfather, so his powers are diminished,”Amora explained, “Tyr’s powers are hardly impressive, and neither are Skurge’s. I have adequate powers, but Loki insisted on doing this the Midgard way”.

“There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned bank robbery to get the blood pumping,” Loki said, baring his teeth in a wild grin, “Come along, Elyse, and try not to look so terrified”.


	4. Backstory Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bank gets robbed, people spill their guts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Mentions of Verbal and Physical Abuse, Mild Gun Violence

“How long have you known the, erm, gang?”

“As long as I’ve been alive”.

“What, thirty years?”

“Damn, I thought I only looked around twenty-four”.

“You wish, Loki. So, y’all grew up together?”

“Did you just say ‘y’all’?”

“Shut up, I’m from Texas. And you’re not answering my question.”

“Which one? You’ve asked me three within the past minute”.

Elyse kicked Loki in the ankle and shot him a nasty glare. The two of them were sitting in the front seat of Tyr’s silver Bugatti Veyron, holding automatic revolvers and handguns.

“Okay, okay,”Loki chuckled, “I’m 1070 years old, I’ve known Tyr since I was an infant, and I’ve known Amora and Skurge since we were a mere century old”.

Elyse shifted uncomfortably. Loki was over a thousand years older than she was. It felt weird to think of that. He had so many years of living on her.

“I’m guessing Tyr’s your favorite brother,” she remarked, placing her revolver carefully in the glove compartment.

Loki hesitated, fiddling with the magazine of his Glock. He thought of a strand of blond hair hanging over a bandaged face, a magical hammer lying next to a hospital cot, and winced.

“He’s… the brother whose views align most with mine,”he said carefully, “We agree. We get along. We enjoy a lot of the same things”.

“But he’s not your favorite brother”.

“Aren’t you a perceptive little mortal”.

“Well, you don’t have to be so condescending”.

“My favorite brother is actually Thor,” Loki said in a surprising burst of honesty, “We’re polar opposites, ok? He’s the golden boy with the golden hair and the magical hammer to match. Everyone loves Thor”.

“Everyone loves you, too, I’m sure”, Elyse said uneasily, hearing the pain in Loki’s voice, “You’re very charismatic”.

“If by some miracle, anyone loves me, it’s because I’ve tricked them into loving me”, Loki muttered.

“That’s not true, I’m sure your parents-”

“Odin killed my true father, King Laufey of Jotunheim, when I was a babe,” Loki interrupted, “His wife, Frigga, raised me alongside her children. I’ve no idea who my real mother is”.

Elyse was silent. She had no idea what to say. The superheroes and the supervillains of the world always looked so glamorous on the news. But here, in the small car with Loki’s quiet, festering grief, she saw that they all had their demons.

“There was a time when I thought Thor might love me,”Loki said, “I’ve done nothing but try to kill him, ever since we were in the cradle. But he’s so infuriatingly good-natured, he still thinks-thought-I was capable of being good”.

“What changed that?”, Elyse asked softly.

“I set him alight two days ago with a fire Jotun’s sword.”

“I… see”.

“There’s something inside of me that still wants to hurt him,”Loki whispered, “I want to hurt all of them. Amora says my heart is still frozen. She says it’s still a Jotun’s heart, after all.”

“One day”, Elyse said, putting a hand on his, “It will thaw. I promise you, Loki”.

“You have the same optimism as my brother”, Loki scoffed, but he didn’t remove his hand until his phone rang.

“Change of plans”, Tyr grunted, “There are a couple of cops in the bank.”

“Copy that,”Loki said, “Just text me when they leave. I don’t feel like getting into it with the cops tonight”.

“Loki, we’re not going to hurt anyone, are we?,”Elyse asked suddenly, “Because if that’s your plan, I can’t do it.”

“We might hurt the security guard, just a little,”Loki said nonchalantly.

“No, you can’t!”, Elyse cried, “We should make it one of our rules that we don’t harm any innocents.”

“You’re so concerned about hurting innocents yet you dated a soldier,”Loki drawled, “If not for his misconduct, you’d probably be the future Mrs. Captain Roy Thornton. And I know what the American military has been responsible for.”

“Don’t you dare,”Elyse hissed, furious tears coming to her eyes, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki said hastily, “That was insensitive of me, I apologize.”

Elyse stared out the window silently. It was past three in the morning, and they were parked across the street from the bank. She could vaguely see three cops using the ATM machines, and a fat, grizzled security guard stood near the entrance to the bank. Her phone kept vibrating with calls from Amalia and a few other students who were at the Halloween party. Julian, Claire, Natasha.

“I really am sorry,”Loki said, slipping the Glock underneath his seat.

“You’re sorry,”Elyse repeated, her fingers finding Roy’s ring, “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I ever got involved with either Roy or this scheme of yours. It seems I’m just a mess of bad decisions.”

“Tyr just texted,”Loki said, “If you’d like to back out, you should probably do it now.”

“I need the money,”Elyse snapped, “I can barely afford my textbooks, and I need money for law school. I’m not backing out.”

“Alright then,”Loki said, feeling like a colossal pile of horse shit, “Take the revolver and follow me.”

Elyse opened the car door, gripping the revolver tightly. She started to feel vaguely queasy. Tyr and Loki had assured her that they would teach her to shoot at some point, and all she had to do for this bank robbery was stand around and look threatening.

“Remember, pull up your hoodie and keep your face angled away from the security cameras in the corners,”Loki ordered, “And don’t say a word.”

“So what exactly is my purpose in this?,”she asked archly, “Can I just be the getaway driver?”

“No, we’re ditching Tyr’s car. Skurge has one around the corner.”

“But the cops will watch CCTV from the deli, and they’ll be all over Tyr’s car!”

“My DNA won’t show up in any database,”Loki said with a shrug, “As for you…”

Loki pulled a piece of duct tape and a thin loop of rope from his pocket. He rolled up her sleeve (she flinched at his warm touch and he pretended not to notice), and rubbed each object up and down her arm.

“Give me your finger,”he said, tossing the tape and the rope through the open car window, “Quickly, now. Amora should’ve disabled CCTV, but only for 30 seconds.”

“I didn’t know she was a hacker,”Elyse muttered, “W-whoa, what are you doing with that razor?”

“We’re going to leave your blood in the car for the cops to find,”Loki said with his signature calmness, “You better not faint.”

He quickly grabbed her thumb and made a light incision on it. She winced at the sting, and he held her thumb through the car window and above the seat and squeezed it so it dripped. He hastily rubbed it along the door handle.

“You were serious, then, about pretending to kidnap me,”Elyse said wonderingly.

“Elyse, when this is all over-shit time to go,”he said, glancing at his phone, “By Yggdrasil, we really need to invest in earpieces.”

“There you are,”Tyr bellowed, coming around the corner with an assault rifle propped on his shoulder and Skurge just behind him, “Let’s go, people, let’s go!”

Elyse took a deep breath as she lined up behind Tyr, Skurge, and Loki. What they were about to do would change everything. But she barely had time to think before Tyr kicked in the door and led them inside the bank.

“Everyone get on the ground, now!,”Tyr roared. There were shrieks from the few people in the bank, and a teller fainted. Elyse heard all these sounds through a fog. Her hand shook as Skurge and Tyr got in the bank tellers’ faces and ordered them to hand over the money.

“Nobody move,”Loki said, still infuriatingly chill, “Nobody move and nobody gets hurt.”

Elyse felt sick. She swallowed her bile and tried to breathe deep. But she couldn’t breathe. Her lungs refused to obey her. The bank seemed incredibly small. She felt like there was no air. She was scared to death. All she could see was Roy’s face, mocking. Her parents, horror etched on their faces.

You’re such a disappointment, Elyse.

Skurge and Tyr were loading black duffel bags with cash. Loki was speaking to one of the security guards, the old man.

Worthless. Just worthless. Why bother trying to be a lawyer? There are lots of jobs you could get lying on your back. You won’t amount to much, which is why you should marry me. I’ll be the most important thing in your life. The only important thing.

“Don’t move,”Loki snarled at one of the people on the ground.

Stop trying, Elyse. It’s like I told you. You’ll never be someone important. You’ll never be someone. Unless you marry me. Being an officer’s wife is better than nothing.

Elyse felt hot tears dripping down her face. Loki turned to her, a concerned look on his face. He started to say something, but behind him, one of the men on the floor leaped up and tried to tackle him. Roy’s face swam in front of Elyse’s eyes. Taunting. Ridiculing.

You’re nobody without me, darling. You can pretend all you want, but you’re nobody.

She felt a sharp pain in the skin between her thumb and forefinger, but she didn’t know what she had done until the man’s scream pierced keenly through her fog.

“You shot me,”the man said, clutching his arm in disbelief, “You shot me!”

Elyse lowered the gun, meeting Loki’s stunned eyes. Police sirens wailed outside the bank-a silent alarm must have been tripped.

“We gotta move,”Skurge said, drawing his axe warily. Tyr grabbed both duffel bags of cash and they ran towards the back exit. Loki grabbed Elyse’s gun from her and tucked it into his waistband. Her eyes were glued to the blood pooling underneath the man she had shot. The other people in the bank were crouched around him, trying to stem his bleeding with their shirts and scarves. His blood was soaking into the gray carpet. There was so much of it. It was so red. Loki took her hand and pulled her away.  
They were safely in Skurge’s brown SUV before anyone said a word. Everyone was looking worriedly at Elyse as she buried her head in her hands and breathed raggedly.  
Loki hesitated before gently putting a hand on her back.

“I shot him,”she sobbed, starting to cry for real, “I shot him. I’m so sorry.”

“You only shot him in the arm,”Skurge said, trying to be sympathetic, “That’s nothing. The things I’ve done to people with my axe-”

“Zip it,”Loki said swiftly, “Elyse. Calm down.”

“God, I hate it when people try to tell me to calm down,”she said with a broken laugh.

“Hate it or love it, but you’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t calm down,”Loki said sternly.

Elyse wiped her nose on her hoodie sleeve and felt the ridiculous urge to call him ‘Professor’. Maybe she had a teacher fetish now. Or just a Loki fetish.

“I thought he was Roy,”she said miserably, “I thought he was Roy. That’s why I shot him.”

“Who’s Roy?,”Tyr grunted, pulling a greasy McDonald’s bag from under his seat.

“Her abusive ex,”Loki said.

“He wasn’t abusive,”Elyse said, hesitating a beat too long, “He never laid a hand on me.”

“Physical abuse isn’t the only type of abuse that exists, Elyse, and you know it,”Loki said heavily, rubbing her back.

“I’d rather not talk about him,”she said stiffly, “So how much did we get?”

“Upwards of fifty thousand bucks,”Tyr said proudly, all too happy to change the subject to the money.

“That’s good,”Elyse said weakly, “That’s what matters.”

“Elyse, I think it would do you good to talk about Roy,”Loki said awkwardly.

“I’d rather talk about what we’re going to do with the money,”Elyse said with false cheer.

“Elyse…”

“Ok. Ok,”she said, taking a deep breath, “If it’ll get you to stop talking about it.”

~Flashback~

I was fourteen when we met, back in Rowena, Texas. Tiny Rowena, in Runnels County. The population totals about 700 people, and everyone in Rowena High School knew each other, or knew of each other. Roy’s father was the mayor and a decorated war hero. Roy himself was the star quarterback of the football team. I was a cheerleader, and a freshman. He was a junior when we started going out. Pretty stereotypical for a small town, everyone’s parents paired up that way.

I was madly, madly in love. I started thinking about marriage on like, our third date. I was fifteen and he was seventeen when we tried to run away. We didn’t get far, though. I was a simple kid. All I wanted was to be Roy’s wife, have a few babies.

When they caught up to us and hauled our stupid asses home, I was grounded, obviously. My mother gave me a stern talking-to. She said a lot of stuff about how it was unhealthy to make Roy my entire life. I didn’t listen to that stuff, because I was a teenager in love. But she said something that made me think.

“One day, Roy might not be there for you. He may not be able to. What are you going to do then? Are you just going to be a poor,young, ignorant girl? Are you going to be all alone? Even officers’ wives need education. Roy is going to be at West Point. But where will you be?”

She convinced me to get my act together. I started taking AP’s, and for once I was getting very good grades. I joined the debate team and the mock trial team, and that’s when I knew I wanted to become a lawyer. But Roy started getting resentful when he saw that I was having dreams and aspirations that didn’t center around him. He started putting me down, trying to humiliate me in front of our friends.

I tried to make excuses for him. I told myself that he was just stressed out because he was applying to West Point. But it got worse and worse. He made me feel so horrible about myself. He made me think that I couldn’t be anything without him.

By then, my mom had recognized my unhealthy way of defending him. Once again, she pulled me up. She made me keep on studying, keep on debating, and I got a scholarship to Georgetown. Roy really hated that, especially since he had been wait-listed at West Point. His father had to make some calls to get him in.  
I lied when I said he never laid a hand on me. I ran over to tell him when I first received my acceptance letter to Georgetown. He was drunk on some of his parents’ beer, and instead of a congratulations, he punched me in the mouth.

That was the only time he hit me, but it was enough for me to begin to doubt that our relationship would last. Still, I stuck with him faithfully, until one of our mutual friends who also went to West Point told me how he was being court-martialed for sexual assault. I called him, broke up with him, blocked him, and tried to move on. That was four days ago.

There was silence in the car. Loki clenched his jaw so hard it hurt.

“I will kill him,”he said, very calm, “I will kill him. Anyone who treats you like that doesn’t deserve to live.”

“Don’t say that,”Elyse said miserably, hugging herself, “Please don’t. I’ve loved him for six years, and it hurts to hear you say that.”

“We’re almost at the safe house,”Tyr said cautiously as Loki lapsed into a sullen silence.

“Now we wait for the fall-out,”Skurge grumbled.


End file.
